Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Meanwhile, Back At The Louvre

This is a preview, exclusive to you, of a cartoonish statement I will be sending in for publication in next week's 'Toons cartoon weekly, published by the renowned gentleman, Mr. Rick Lem. I think it says a lot about LA and his pathological lying about what I believe to be an inescapable truth, the guy cheated like all of the people he "beat" in the TdF. I don't really have a problem with all of the top riders cheating, it doesn't impress me or bother me either way. But to continue to deny that he cheated, that is a problem I have with the whole mess. And, it's not even a problem really, just wish he would say, "Yes, I cheated, here's how it went down." Surrounded by a team of lawyers, he spills his guts, and all is forgotten.

This cheeseball graphic I made shows what I think he could have done to cheat, while technically maintaining a stance that he never cheated or failed a drug test in his career. OK, so NO dissing him for fighting through cancer. I would never say anything bad about the guy for his efforts to help others with their struggles. Bravo to him, in fact. Likewise, I will not make fun of the fact that he lost a testicle during his fight. Again, not making fun of that!
Lets say that he was a really promising cyclist before cancer nearly killed him. I give him all props for training hard, racing with passion, and laying the wood down on the best in the world. So he loses a part of him that produces testosterone. I personally have two such glands, nothing out of the ordinary about them as far as I know. Now let's keep going down this road. Say I produce a T level of 4 on some scale of averages. Maybe you, if you're a man, produce a 4 too. So, in a sport where it's shadowy as to what cheating even means, the rule makers say that you could, maybe, if you're a stud, make a level of 6 before they would look at you as a cheater. OK, I want to play the game at the highest level possible so I am going to find a way to kick ass! I get a simple topical creme and apply it to my skin, and suddenly I can ride all day at a crazy level. Levels I thought unattainable now come with ease. Going from a "normal" 4, to a "still under the limit" 6, is a 33% gain. I'm crushing it dude!
Now the unthinkable happens. I lose half of my T production crew, and now I only make a 2 level:( But wait, let me continue to train, harder than ever, and see if my fitness will remain high. Ride, ride, rest, ride harder, rest....yep, it's working. I am maintaining a world class fitness level through hard work and good nutrition. Yes! Still, that 33% boost was pretty nice. Maybe I could get back to a T4 if I go back to the creme. What's that? Now I can get a 66% boost from my current level and still be under the T6 limit?! Awesome, I'll train even harder than before, do my extra 33% shot over what all the other guys can do, and still not be braking the "rules."
I know, I'm no scientist, but it seems possible to me that this could be a way to cut around the rules and get away with it. Landis must not have read the script on the day he put on the patch. Too strong of a shot there chief. Busted! EPO/ don't need it if you dose your T correctly. Wishful thinking, but maybe someday all of it will be known for certain. I just have doubts that it will. See ya!


MrDaveyGie said...

dang, now realizing how this all works after reading this, I wish I was born with three of them T produing nuggets. :-| Good article.

Travel Gravel said...

There was a great article in Outside Magazine that you would like to read. It is by a guy who took up road racing for fun, then as a deep research article he used T creme and found out how easy it is to CHEAT! Even as a weekend warrior. These are the people who haven't found out that riding is for fun.

MrDaveyGie said...

TG was that the one about the guy who went on a bunch of different stuff all from doctors if I remember he was like around 50. If not I didn't see that article I would like to read it. Thanks for the info.

Travel Gravel said...

Page 62, June 2011, Outside magazine, "Absolutely Positive".

Squirrel said...

Awesome read Bro!